SupaChan's Words

So one of my dreams last night was pretty cool. I was up at one of the resorts in my home state (Utah). I think it was Brighton, but it was different..you know how dreams are.. I was walking along the snow near the parking lot looking up at the lifts. Decked out in my snow gear and carrying my board. It was a beautiful day! The sun was out, the snow was perfect, people were wandering around, laughing and just enjoying the day. I was so at peace, it was just perfect. I looked ahead and saw kids throwing snowballs at each other and laughing, people sitting on benches tightening their boots. As I looked closer I began to study their faces, I saw they were friends or people I've known or been acquainted with over my life. Each one offering me a smile or a nod. Some were very good friends that would stop and tell me something that made me laugh, but still, I kept walking. I haven't felt that much at peace for a very long time. It is dreams like the one from last night that make me g

Life is really full of ups and downs. Everything will be going great, then all of a sudden BAM!! WTF was that? Am I right? I suppose it's just the universe's way of presenting opportunities. Then based on our action/reaction we have either a positive or a negative experience. I mean, I understand this concept and such, I just don't like when the result is such a downer.

My mantra today is - I am so fucking done with being a good friend!!! FUCKING DONE! 

We are each gifted in a unique and important way. It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light.  ~Evelyn Dunbar

Life was so much easier when I was young. The friend I was reconnecting with turned out to be a deceiver and caused so much unwanted drama and hurt feelings in my life and in their own. Granted, I'm not innocent of wrongdoing, but I should not have trusted this old friend. Ya know, I have this problem quite often. Why am I so trusting? Why? The end result is someone's feelings getting hurt. Usually mine, but sometimes other peoples as well. So what do I do? Do I continue to be the kind, trusting creature I am, or do I change? Do I build an impenetrable wall around myself and my heart? It is a good time to start making resolutions being a new year and all. I just don't know. I don't think I can wall myself up, deny my nature and true self... Definitely, have some things I gotta work on though. Number one is to focus on the people I love and the ones who love me. It's much easier on my heart and on theirs that way. I have some other ideas.. overall I just want to be a