Today I'm struggling with staying focused. I keep thinking about things from the past. Moments when someone I really care about said really cruel things about me to me. All this time I thought I'd forgiven them, but I don't think I have. I just can't let it go. Should I? The things said to me were truly damaging and hurt me, all the way to my core. I have tried to forgive and forget, but I honestly don't think I can. Some of these things were said to me years ago, like 5 or more. I want to forgive them, but I don't want to forget. Is that wrong of me? What do you do when someone intentionally (yes, intentionally - they admitted to that later) damages your self-esteem and self-worth? Do you forgive them? Do you forget it happened? Do you forgive AND forget? I'm really having a hard time w/this one peeps.
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~e.e. cummings This is so true. I look at myself, my family, my friends, other people and wonder, are we being true to ourselves? Are we genuine? If we're not, why not? Why do we ever feel a need to be, act, or say something just because somebody else told us to be a certain way, or act on something against our true selves wishes and desires? Today and every day moving forward I am making a conscious effort to only be me! To listen to that inner knowing (because it's always right), to be, act, and say things that are true to myself. Because in the end, that's all there really is anyway.
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