Today I'm struggling with staying focused. I keep thinking about things from the past. Moments when someone I really care about said really cruel things about me to me. All this time I thought I'd forgiven them, but I don't think I have. I just can't let it go. Should I? The things said to me were truly damaging and hurt me, all the way to my core. I have tried to forgive and forget, but I honestly don't think I can. Some of these things were said to me years ago, like 5 or more. I want to forgive them, but I don't want to forget. Is that wrong of me? What do you do when someone intentionally (yes, intentionally - they admitted to that later) damages your self-esteem and self-worth? Do you forgive them? Do you forget it happened? Do you forgive AND forget? I'm really having a hard time w/this one peeps.
I feel like it's been forever since I blogged last so I have a few things to say. Over the past month, I've had some absolutely amazing and incredible experiences as well as a few completely heartbreaking ones. Because I'd like to leave you today with positive thoughts, I'll start with the heartbreaking experiences first. 1. I have (had) a friend, I'll call him A (yes, for my 1 follower, it is the same A) whom I haven't talked to for almost a year who called me out of the blue. I was totally ecstatic and overjoyed that they reached out to me after so long. Talking with A was fantastic, but I knew in my heart it was too good to be true. My intuition was correct (sadly) and that brief amount of time was all the time I had. That's the heartbreaking part. The positive part is that I was able to apologize profusely and let A know how I feel. 2. Now I must forewarn you, this next bit is extremely sad and horribly tragic so if you can't or don't want to han...
At the beginning of this year it dawned on me that I haven't/hadn't been reading as much as I used to and I didn't know why. I told myself, it was because 'I didn't have time'. Which I knew was a lie. A small insignificant and minor lie and only to myself, but still... I remembered how much I LOVE reading and was disappointed in myself. I decided then that I was going to read. I started out with a small goal. A goal I knew I could easily obtain. Read 6 books this year. Just 6. Then I'll be back in the habit of reading and could read more next year. I'm happy to say/report that as of today, I've read 30 books!! And updated my goal to 45! The time was there all along, I was just wasting it on other things. Pick up a book, read it, pick up another, read it, and repeat. :D
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