SupaChan's Words

It's me! Two days in a row?!? Don't get used to it ;). Baby steps, one day at a time. Not just regarding my blog, but for life in general.  There is quite a bit of turmoil, hypocrisy, vengeful behaviors and just unkindness happening in my country right now and me being, well me... it's so challenging to deal with. It's so hard for me to be positive, and be a good example to others, and honestly to just keep my mouth shut because I don't want to say something to someone that I'll regret later. So, in addition to avoiding FB like the plague, I literally have to focus on not just one day at a time, but one moment at a time. And to think I thought 2020 was bad??! But enough of that... I'm in a good mood right now! Tomorrow marks my 20 year anniversary at my current employer. How crazy is that??! So much of my life has occurred while working there. Got married, had kids, bought a couple of houses, a few pets, my oldest graduated high school, my husband has had a ...

 I know, I know, it's been a while since any of you have heard from me or since I've posted anything of any significance whatsoever. What can I say, 2020 was one hell of a decade, going from bad to worse and so on. Even with all of the awful and loathsome things that occurred last year, I still have reasons to be grateful. I still have my job AND have been able to work at home full time since March 11th of last year. My oldest daughter graduated from high school; talk about an unusual graduation ceremony (graduating class of 2020 in the middle of a pandemic). I'll do a post another time of that fun fiasco!! I get to spend oodles of time with my dearest loves - my family. Money spent on gas is WAAAYYY down. The last one I'll mention is my dog is so happy now. Someone is almost always here and the longest time he is ever alone is maybe 4 hours. Last year I was able to finish 46 books, awesome, right? On the home front, we were finally able to get my library done! It is no...

At the beginning of this year it dawned on me that I haven't/hadn't been reading as much as I used to and I didn't know why. I told myself, it was because 'I didn't have time'. Which I knew was a lie. A small insignificant and minor lie and only to myself, but still... I remembered how much I LOVE reading and was disappointed in myself. I decided then that I was going to read. I started out with a small goal. A goal I knew I could easily obtain. Read 6 books this year. Just 6. Then I'll be back in the habit of reading and could read more next year. I'm happy to say/report that as of today, I've read 30 books!! And updated my goal to 45! The time was there all along, I was just wasting it on other things. Pick up a book, read it, pick up another, read it, and repeat. :D

Last night I had a pretty intense sexual dream... again... about a female co-worker/ friend... the same woman I had a sexual dream about not too long ago...we were sitting at a table chatting and enjoying each other's company. Completely innocent and such... both of our hands on the table, fingers slowly gravitating towards each other. Eventually our pinkies connected, just the slightest brushing of skin. Then a little more, as if our pinkies had a mind of their own fully wrapping around each other. We kept talking, holding pinkies for a while longer. Once again, and feeling outside myself, our fingers began drawing little circles in each other's hands. Next thing I know, her hands are on my cheeks, pulling my face to hers and she kisses me. Just a soft and light kiss. She starts to talk as if to apologize, I quickly stand up, and lean across the table and kiss 💋 her back. Opening my mouth ever so slightly blocking any possible way for her to continue with an apology. Quite t...

So one of my dreams last night was pretty cool. I was up at one of the resorts in my home state (Utah). I think it was Brighton, but it was different..you know how dreams are.. I was walking along the snow near the parking lot looking up at the lifts. Decked out in my snow gear and carrying my board. It was a beautiful day! The sun was out, the snow was perfect, people were wandering around, laughing and just enjoying the day. I was so at peace, it was just perfect. I looked ahead and saw kids throwing snowballs at each other and laughing, people sitting on benches tightening their boots. As I looked closer I began to study their faces, I saw they were friends or people I've known or been acquainted with over my life. Each one offering me a smile or a nod. Some were very good friends that would stop and tell me something that made me laugh, but still, I kept walking. I haven't felt that much at peace for a very long time. It is dreams like the one from last night that make me g...

I had such an amazing dream last night. I was on vacation with my family. We were going to a famous waterfall. As we came up over the hill into the parking lot we caught our first glimpse of this waterfall. It was tall and somewhat thin at the top, widening at the base of the falls, and had all the colors of the rainbow cascading down into a GIANT crystal blue circular pool. The sight was breathtakingly beautiful! Up near the parking lot, there was a huge winding river, like a lazy river, only it was very wide and the colors were more like the water in the pool at the bottom of the falls. There were walking paths with tall railings that were made of glass (like aquarium glass) every 50 to 100 feet that crossed the river, about an inch down so you could feel the water on your toes. The river was very deep! The best was there were sea mammals in the river!!! Dolphins, killer whales, tons of fish, sea lions, a couple smaller breeds of sharks, turtles, etc. It was such a magnifice...

I have always had very vivid and realistic dreams. Sometimes they're so real that when I think back to remember them I have to convince myself they were in fact, dreams and not memories. You might say to yourself, well that sounds awesome!! Which would be true if the dream was a good one.... not so much when they're nightmares or bad dreams. All of this being said, I had a weird one last night. ---- I was in some sort of very large tent - like a medic tent. Where the tent was located, I have no idea. I was sitting on a bed next to someone - a patient perhaps. As I scanned the room I could see it was decorated more like a house, but it was definitely a tent - maybe like the ones in the Harry Potter books. I could see my spouse across the room watching the TV - which looked black to me. Suddenly another man appeared in the tent, I knew him, but I didn't. It was more of I knew his presence and it was someone I cared about, a lot. This man sat down on the bed on the other side ...

A daydream is a meal at which images are eaten. Some of us are gourmets, some gourmands, and a good many take their images precooked out of a can and swallow them down whole, absent-mindedly and with little relish. ~W.H. Auden

I was just remembering that at one point in my life (back in my teenage years I'm sure) I had planned on writing a book. Not just any book either, it was going to be one of the NY Times bestsellers, of course. I remember getting a pretty good amount of pages written. Now I sit here contemplating whatever happened to those pages? The ones I worked so hard on.... but, more importantly, what happened to that dream? Why didn't I pursue it? Why haven't I even now? As I age, perhaps even approach that terrifying 'middle-aged generalization' I've decided there are some dreams that I WANT to pursue, even now. Because after all, and according to the X-Files, "Dreams are answers to questions we haven't yet figured out how to ask."

So I recently had a somewhat intimate dream about a friend. Now it wasn't the hottest, steamiest dream ever, but it was pretty intense. Probably the hottest, sexiest, friendliest, and best hug I've ever experienced. Accompanied by the words, "It's you. It's always been you." That's it!!! Nothing before, nothing after... just the best-est hug ever and six words!! My question is, do I tell this friend about my dream? Or no? I really don't know.... this is definitely one of those things that makes me go hmmmmmm....