SupaChan's Words

It's me! Two days in a row?!? Don't get used to it ;). Baby steps, one day at a time. Not just regarding my blog, but for life in general.  There is quite a bit of turmoil, hypocrisy, vengeful behaviors and just unkindness happening in my country right now and me being, well me... it's so challenging to deal with. It's so hard for me to be positive, and be a good example to others, and honestly to just keep my mouth shut because I don't want to say something to someone that I'll regret later. So, in addition to avoiding FB like the plague, I literally have to focus on not just one day at a time, but one moment at a time. And to think I thought 2020 was bad??! But enough of that... I'm in a good mood right now! Tomorrow marks my 20 year anniversary at my current employer. How crazy is that??! So much of my life has occurred while working there. Got married, had kids, bought a couple of houses, a few pets, my oldest graduated high school, my husband has had a ...

 I know, I know, it's been a while since any of you have heard from me or since I've posted anything of any significance whatsoever. What can I say, 2020 was one hell of a decade, going from bad to worse and so on. Even with all of the awful and loathsome things that occurred last year, I still have reasons to be grateful. I still have my job AND have been able to work at home full time since March 11th of last year. My oldest daughter graduated from high school; talk about an unusual graduation ceremony (graduating class of 2020 in the middle of a pandemic). I'll do a post another time of that fun fiasco!! I get to spend oodles of time with my dearest loves - my family. Money spent on gas is WAAAYYY down. The last one I'll mention is my dog is so happy now. Someone is almost always here and the longest time he is ever alone is maybe 4 hours. Last year I was able to finish 46 books, awesome, right? On the home front, we were finally able to get my library done! It is no...

Life is really full of ups and downs. Everything will be going great, then all of a sudden BAM!! WTF was that? Am I right? I suppose it's just the universe's way of presenting opportunities. Then based on our action/reaction we have either a positive or a negative experience. I mean, I understand this concept and such, I just don't like when the result is such a downer.

I was informed of some very frustrating and difficult information today... and as a direct result, am now questioning my parenting. I'm definitely feeling like I'm not a very good parent, and that some of my choices - where I've been saying for 2 years that I am doing this for my kids are coming into question. I feel like I've made a huge mistake.... I feel lost and lonely. I don't have anyone I can talk to about this/these feelings and I don't know what to do.

I'm feeling much more myself today and am ready to tackle the day's challenges. I hope you all had a good weekend and if you celebrate Easter I hope it was a good one for you. Over the past few days, I have had plenty of time to do some soul searching (which is something I'm ALWAYS doing) and have come to a conclusion... I think I'm ready for a change, like maybe in my appearance or something more drastic, like a piercing or a tattoo. I am definitely thinking about it and have had a few ideas. We'll see if any of them are fruitful or if they'll remain in my head.