SupaChan's Words

I recently acquired some tubes of lipsticks that used to be my grandmothers. Even though most of them are not colors that I would wear I find myself putting them on. When I do, I think of my grandmother giving me a kiss. What I wouldn't give for another kiss from her. 💕

My mantra today is - I am so fucking done with being a good friend!!! FUCKING DONE! 

Today I'm struggling with staying focused. I keep thinking about things from the past. Moments when someone I really care about said really cruel things about me to me. All this time I thought I'd forgiven them, but I don't think I have. I just can't let it go. Should I? The things said to me were truly damaging and hurt me, all the way to my core. I have tried to forgive and forget, but I honestly don't think I can. Some of these things were said to me years ago, like 5 or more. I want to forgive them, but I don't want to forget. Is that wrong of me? What do you do when someone intentionally (yes, intentionally - they admitted to that later) damages your self-esteem and self-worth? Do you forgive them? Do you forget it happened? Do you forgive AND forget? I'm really having a hard time w/this one peeps.

I'm feeling much more myself today and am ready to tackle the day's challenges. I hope you all had a good weekend and if you celebrate Easter I hope it was a good one for you. Over the past few days, I have had plenty of time to do some soul searching (which is something I'm ALWAYS doing) and have come to a conclusion... I think I'm ready for a change, like maybe in my appearance or something more drastic, like a piercing or a tattoo. I am definitely thinking about it and have had a few ideas. We'll see if any of them are fruitful or if they'll remain in my head.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.  ~Kahlil Gibran